


good things fall apart.

by enbyflorenzi



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Bisexual Character, David Schreibner Loves Matteo Florenzi, Drug Abuse, Emo Matteo Florenzi, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gay Male Character, M/M, Matteo Florenzi Loves David Schreibner, Pansexual Character, Sapphic, Supportive David Schreibner, They'll be okay, Trans Male Character, Underage Drug Use
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-06
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:47:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 19
Words: 10,917
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27919978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/enbyflorenzi/pseuds/enbyflorenzi
Summary: "even if everything were to fall apart, there are some risks they wanted to take."or: matteo had forgotten what it was like not to feel alone anymore and on the way he found david.
Relationships: Alexander Hardenberg/Mia Amalie Winter, Jonas Augustin/Hanna Jung, Kieu My/Fatou Jallow, Matteo Florenzi/David Schreibner, Mia Amalie Winter/Victoria
Comments: 26
Kudos: 40





	1. smells like a teen spirit.

Sometimes good times fall apart, Matteo certainly couldn't disagree. But sometimes, not everything that's good falls apart, he just kept in mind that even if he wasn't _good_ , he was slowly falling apart. 

That was life. 

He stretched himself before getting out of bed, it was a new week and couldn't start otherwise than: coffee and weed. Even after a bath the messy hair stayed, he wore the same old shirt; a black shirt with the symbol of Nirvana stamped, there were still some traces of makeup on his eyes, the black eye pencil highlighting the crystalline blue certainly would catch so many attentions. 

At school, he had a "marked" place just to be alone and exchanged weed for cigarette packets, Matteo was aware that he wasn’t healthy and that the fame of "emo" only grew with the passing of time, honestly, he couldn't care less. Sometimes he thought he should have made friends beyond his only best friend, Mia, but she was not even at the same school. 

It was just him. He for him, as always. 

The silence which made him stay in peace was left aside, running between his fingers like the powder of the cigarette which was almost at the end when Kiki appeared, drawing his attention because he was wearing a headset while she was talking about something. Even not wanting to listen, he apologized and paused the music, listening to her explaining about the abiball for the sixth time. exhausting. 

— you really don't care about that, do you? — a voice startled him, turning his head until he found the owner of the voice. a boy in a blue beanie smiled gently as soon as the eyes met. the light brown blending with the crystal blue, but also the unknown. 

— with the event? — the boy nodded, they seemed to get looks like "he's really talking to the weirdo!" and that was what bothered Matteo the most. 

— not much. — he admitted. why would he care about a party that he would even attend? 

Matteo took a swallow, feeling his body warm and burning inside when he realized that the boy was looking at him, not looking away for a few seconds when the boy opened his mouth to say something, his friend called his attention, pulling his arm. 

He knew what it was. the look — not so discreet of the boy that he believed himself to be called Jonas wasn’t gentle, not warming like the beanie’s boy. he was judgmental, discriminating as if he was judging him. 

Of course, for a moment he forgot he was in high school. 


	2. blue eyes.

When the meeting was over, the boy hadn't said anything else and Matteo was sure that he had scared him somehow. He put his backpack on his back and left before everyone started with a session of hugs and exposed feelings, there was a group outside where he could identify the Kiki's sister, Nora, sitting with some girls and the look lit up every time she looked at the boy sitting next to her, Matteo didn't know anyone's name but certainly it was a nice group. _unreachable_ , he thought as he took big steps towards the exit, he wanted to go home as fast as possible.

But it was a great irony, he always seemed rushed to get back home, but the truth is there was nothing there. nothing that he wanted to come back or that wanted him back, it was just an empty and lonely apartment. just that.

—hey! — someone shouted, the distant voice didn't make him stop walking towards the exit, realizing this the person shouted again:

—blue eyes, I'm talking to you!

 **"wait. what?"** he thought as he stopped walking, looking around.

The beanie's boy was standing with the same smile, which looked like his usual and waved his right hand. Matteo frowned around to make sure he wasn't hallucinating or the weed making effect. The boy took long steps until he was close enough to say:

—I'm talking to you.

—why? — Matteo asked genuinely confused, nobody ever talked to him. he didn't know what to answer either.

—i see you, blue eyes and i like what i see. — the blond wanted to laugh with the unexpected answer because why someone like him would like to see it?

There was no answer on the tip of his tongue, so he just pushed another cigarette between his lips and turned to go away. The smile — now known —got stuck in his mind, when he was near the gate, turned to ask but the boy was already far away.

Another missed opportunity because he was an idiot. and now it was time to go back to "home".

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> leave a comment!! :)


	3. empty eyes.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> david's pov + mia's pov. enjoy!

People always talk too much. Especially in high school where everyone seems to be unoccupied to the point of knowing everything about someone's life. well, David discovered this by pure accident when he asked Jonas about Matteo, since he hadn't seen any close friends to the boy to ask. 

— I don't know, you should drop it. He doesn't look like a nice guy to date. 

— Why? — David wanted to defend himself saying he was just a crush, but the lie got stuck on the tip of his tongue refusing to echo before the mind even sued. 

Jonas shrugged, and the truth is everybody had an image about the boy that didn't make sense. If he asked why, nobody knew what to say; he hadn't done any scandals, never got into fights and much less goes around talking about people. He was just a boy. 

And David was ready to take a new step towards the horizon — for yet unknown. 

**09:50**

_**I'm home**_ , Mia thought before leaving her bags at the door. A sigh escaped between her lips covered with red lipstick when she finally opened the door, the worry weighed on her shoulders almost instantly. The apartment wasn't only a chaos, but also seemed that someone had died in there. 

— Matteo? — she called him, not exactly expecting an answer, but all the lines she had in mind disappeared when the boy seemed to drag himself lazily into the room. 

His red eyes and apparent dark circles as if he hadn't slept for days, he seemed surprised to see her back — and a little happy, letting it show only when she dropped everything to hug him, making him smile lightly even if she couldn't see.

— You are back. — He pointed and she smiled before nodding, going to sit on the sofa. 

— Well, I guess it was time to go back or you would have died here alone. 

Matteo wanted to laugh. But the weight on his conscience prevented him from doing such an act, so he just frowned as if he didn't know what she was talking about. 

— You need to stop, Matteo. This is no longer a joke and you know it. 

He nodded, whispering one: _**i know**_. he knew, he really knew. more than anyone else. 

— I'm glad you're back. — He said, and in normal situations Mia would laugh and make fun of him saying: "who would say that Matteo Florenzi has feelings?" but it was definitely not the time. 

— I know. I am too. 

She smiled back. The hope seemed to grow a little in both chests, it was the hope of better days. 


	4. brown in blue. blue in brown.

Matteo saw him the next day, he was finishing to lock the chain of the bike when he saw someone looking at him. David lifted his head, looking around and didn't contain a smile on when realized it was the blonde who was looking at him.   


— Hey, na? — The nervousness was evaporating as they looked at each other.

**Brown in blue. Blue in brown.**

The pink cheeks of David by the cold almost made Matteo sigh, he wanted to say: "you look beautiful today" but he didn't. 

— I have biology class now. — David made a dramatic look like he wanted to say: help, i hate this class! 

— Do you want to kill class? 

— Wow, Matteo Florenzi is asking me out. I don't even have an appropriate outfit!

The blonde laughed as if he wasn't aware of such an action, normally he would just look and without any laughter. But it was David there, things were different. 

— I'll think about it. 

And he thought. He thought all the way to Matteo's apartment where they, for pure fear of being silent, shared a earphone to relieve the tension. 

— Do you live here alone? — He asked as soon as they entered the apartment, it was wide and cozy — but mostly only because Mia cleaned everything after returning. Matteo nodded while removing his shoes, leaving them in the entrance. 

David traced a path towards the couch, but to the blond's surprise, he sat on the floor with his legs crossed and his back against the couch. 

— You know the couch is for sitting, right? 

— I know, it's more comfortable here. — He said referring to the floor, the boy shrugged as if he didn't believe so David offered his hand, lifting it so that he could hold it. 

— Come on. — He called, still with his hand raised, not for long by Matteo even afraid, accepted. Sitting on the floor too. 

He didn't understand the concept of comfort on a cold and hard floor, but he didn't want to complain so he just shrugged and went back to the joint, the wet tongue wetting the silk made David for a second think he wanted it. by god, he wanted him so bad. 

— Do you want it? — He asked, finishing swallowing the smoke, feeling the whole inside almost burning. It was the only thing that was heating him up anyway. 

_i want you, blue eyes._

— Yeah. — He accepted by putting the joint between his lips, pulling the smoke while watching the blond play with his socks. 

— Who are you?

This attracted the attention of Matteo who raised his face with frown. 

— Excuse me?

— Everyone says something different about you.

— And? 

He really didn't understand what David was getting at. 

— And i don't want to hear anything they have to say. I want you to tell me who you are, to tell me all the bullshit, traumas, dreams, mistakes and hits that make you who you are. I want to meet you, blue eyes.

**Brown in blue. Blue in brown.**

fuck. i literally could kiss you right now. 

— Then do it. 

— What? Did I say it out loud? 

David laughed settling, but not for long before Matteo took the joint off the lips of the boy who held the smoke, letting it mingle with the reddish lips of the blond who kissed him. 


	5. can you feel me at all?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> tw: abuse of drugs, angst.

David learned some things about Matteo that afternoon, where after long kisses and laughs about simple things, the boy was definitely the most mysterious person he had seen. The blue eyes covered by the faded make-up, falling down his cheeks made him look like art; and David didn't mind admiring him.

He also noticed how much he smoked. Enough to be unhealthy, the smoke already seemed to be part of the boy who didn't avoid when David asked:

— Why do you smoke so much? 

He watched Matteo's thin fingers squeeze the sweatshirt as if he wanted to escape from there, get up from the ground and leave. Obviously he didn't, the reddish lips pressed against each other in an attempt to get a sincere answer, he didn't want to lie. He didn't wanted to hide anything from the boy who said about wanting to meet him. 

Matteo hid for all his life, and this was the only time he didn't want to run. Just wanted to tell the truth, so he did.

— If I don't smoke, things get out of my control. It's like I don't have the power to decide anything, like I don't feel anything anymore. If I don't get high, the nightmares don't go away and I'm afraid I don't know who I am without being like this.

The words echoed through the room, David searched for the hand of the boy who was frightened by the sudden contact, but relaxed as soon as they intertwined their hands. 

— Can you feel me at all? — David asked, the soft voice sounding like a whisper and it seemed like a huge warning to stop in the blond's mind. He couldn't fall in love with the boy. Not in that life.

But still, he nodded.

— Good, 'cause I'm here and I won't go away.

All remaining pieces of Matteo's heart seemed to be in place, smiling to know that he wasn't totally alone. But the poison began to spread, causing confusion. The thoughts in pure mess, palpable even for the boy who seemed to notice the conflict amidst the blue eyes, he took a deep breath before saying:

— I am transgender. 

Courage took over David's chest who didn't even notice Matteo looking at him attentively, with concern taking over his eyes. He knew, after all, it was nothing new to anyone at school. 

— I know about it, but thanks for telling me. It means a lot. 

— Why?

Matteo shrugged.

— Because I want to meet you too. Truly, without any gossip. 

David smiled, a sensation warmed his body until it reached his heart. He was falling in love and hadn't even noticed. 

Not until the blond separated his hands, receiving a confused look, but it became clear when he smiled gently and offered his hand for the boy to shake.

**— It's a pleasure to meet you, David Schreibner.**

Oh god. He was really falling in love with him.

**— It's my pleasure, Matteo Florenzi.**

Matteo missed the blue eyes, but changed his mind when heard his name being uttered by David's lips. He wished with his all heart to hear that again. Everyday. 

_call out my name._

The only thing blocking the desire was the mission of not falling in love.


	6. a date?

**david**  
(03:56)

where are u now?

 **matteo**  
(03:56)

in bed? what the hell?

david. 

it's 3am, time for the child to be asleep.

 **david**  
(03:58)

so why aren't you? 

**matteo**  
(03:58)

touché!

 **david**  
(04:00)

matteo florenzi, don't run away from the question.   
where will u be tomorrow?

 **matteo**  
(04:01)

at home, probably? why?

 **david**  
(04:01)

tomorrow we have a date.

 **matteo**  
(04:02)

and when did i said yes? gee, you're getting so slack!

 **david**  
(04:02)

you can't say no!  
comeeee on  
matteo  
MATTEO FLORENZI DON'T U DARE SLEEP RN

 **matteo**  
(04:02)

david pls  
stfu

 **david**  
(04:03)

now go to sleep that tomorrow we have an afternoon date.

 **matteo**  
(04:03)

what  
david no!!!!!  
it's my day to stay at home and pretend life doesn't exist.

 **david**  
(04:04)

so i'm so sorry for you, mr. florenzi because tomorrow we will make history.


	7. monk by the sea.

History wasn't exactly what Matteo expected to get when David showed up at his door that afternoon. He had just woken up and didn't even think about how he would explain the Star Wars pajamas when he opened the door, seeing the boy tidy. Apparently, waiting for him. 

— I'm sorry, I'll change in a minute. — he apologized, giving space for David to take off his coat and shoes, to at least warm himself up. 

— It's fine! you can go and change slowly.

It was the last thing he heard before leaving David sitting on the sofa writing something on the phone, changing his clothes as fast as possible and beating his mind because he didn't comment anything about his pajamas. 

Properly dressed, he put on a red sweater and arranged a few messy threads before leaving the room, tracing a path to the room. 

— Are you ready, Cinderella? — David asked, there was something — maybe not strange, but unusual for sure. Matteo lifted the middle finger, but also did not stop laughing.

On the way to the date, it wasn't strange like the first time, they told silly jokes and laughed as if they were a big secret that no one else could hear. As if every second in the midst of that freezing cold in the streets of Berlin weren't even getting close to their hearts, considering that Matteo couldn't go on with it. Not this time. 

— Tada! — David exclaimed cheerfully as they arrived at the door of the museum, as if he was trying too hard in that date. Matteo looked around, seeing the museum almost empty.

— You brought me to a museum? The story was quite literal, don't you think? 

He nodded, laughing as they went in. Each painting, each story there seemed to be on the tip of the boy's tongue.

— It's the Monk By The Sea, the representation of the sea, of the clear sky where monk is and there are seagulls around as if he was lonely. It's one of my favorite paintings.

David kept explaining, Matteo looked at him as if it was a certain kind of miracle. Looking at him in admiration, as a art in devotion. Yeah, maybe David was one of those paintings that you only see once. 

That you only feel it once. 

— Why? 

— What?

— Why is it one of your favorite paintings? 

They moved away from the painting a bit, sitting on a wooden bench, one next to the other separated only by a little space. David thought for a few seconds before responding, looking back at the painting.

— I don't know, maybe the loneliness that Friedrich goes through in the painting isn't totally bad, maybe the monk could be alone looking at the sea and thinking it's home for him. Maybe the loneliness of the sea hadn't hit him like everybody thinks. 

There was a second between one speech and another. Matteo nodded, but he didn't know this version of loneliness that wasn't bad. That didn't hold his breath, that didn't grab him by the shoulders at dawn and that didn't force him to stay awake by shoulders. 

— Do you think he chose to be alone at sea? the monk, do you think it was a choice? 

— Maybe. Maybe he woke up one morning with the desire of living freely feeling the wind between the waves of the sea. 

— To be alone?

— You wouldn't want to be alone? You know, to have the whole sea in the palm of your hands, to have all the way of rocks. 

— I don't know, I don't think I would want to be alone. 

This was one of the things David had learned about Matteo, he never wanted to be alone. He had loneliness as an enemy, and that's why all decisions were based on wishes and actions so that he wouldn't stay. He didn't want to be alone, but deep down, he was. 

— Don't worry, if I were the monk, I would surely take you along with me. 

— And who would I be? — Matteo asked, trying to ignore his heart warming with the words of the boy, who was looking him in the eyes. 

— The Cinderella. 

They laughed with the feeling that somehow, they had really made history. With the feeling of wanting to eternalize that afternoon, of eternalizing the crossed eyes as if the blue mixed with the brown in a matter of seconds. 

As the most beautiful painting that could be exposed in the Louvre.


	8. missed calls and a missed a heart.

**david**  
(09:55)

i literally have legs aching from trying to find you in this school.   
did u missed class?

 **david**   
(10:38)

teo?  
it's been three weeks since our little tour of the museum.   
did i scare you that day? lol  
i got really boring talking all the time, right?

 **david**   
(11:11)

mia was here, she said she missed me and missed my food (ha, you lost the bet because she called me MASTERCHEF!)

 **david**  
(11:15)

i know now that you didn't really come.  
did something happen?

 **david**  
(15:29)

idk if something happened, so call me or just answer these messages. 

ps. please, i'm worried :( 

yes a sad face bc i know how much u hate this face

:( :( :(


	9. a new place to hide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: slurs, violence and angst ofc.
> 
> merry christmas everyone 🎄 hope you're safe and good!

Two days had passed since the last message David sent, the agony had already taken over when even Mia did not know where Matteo was. There was no clue, it was as if he had disappeared from the map. 

**Wednesday. 08:45.**

The fast steps towards the school for being already late, before crossing the gate David heard someone say something. Something he couldn't identify, so he went back a little to try to understand. 

ㅡ Watch out, faggot. This is my street. 

The anxiety weighed under his shoulders that he just swallowed dry, returning to walk this time faster. fast enough until he felt his legs burn. 

ㅡ Hey! I'm talking to you! 

He could feel the man, apparently drunk, approaching. David wasn't ready to stop, but his unbridled breath kept him from thinking rationally. 

Someone had pulled his arm, which caused a panic that ran all over his body. He dodged, mentally begging him not to be assaulted.

ㅡ Dav? Hey, it's me. 

The blonde's so familiar voice sounded and David swore he could cry right there, which he certainly did when Matteo saw the scared boy, hugging him while whispering that everything was fine. 

**It's ok. You're safe. Look, the idiot is gone, ok?**

ㅡ Where the fuck were you? 

He didn't mean to be thick or rude, but at that moment, control over emotions was the only thing missing. Matteo took a deep breath, walking away from the boy who looked at him for the first time. 

There was a recent cut and some purple stains on the blond's face. It broke David's heart. 

ㅡ I'm sorry I didn't answer you, I wasn't with my phone these days.   
ㅡ What's up, Teo? are you ok? 

The anger gave way to worry. 

ㅡ Is all right.   
ㅡ Teo.   
ㅡ I'm not sure. My dad returned from Italy this week and wanted the apartment back.   
ㅡ What? But he gave you a place to sleep? 

Matteo denied with his head, watching the boy frown. 

ㅡ No, he told me to leave and this here ㅡ pointed to the injured face ㅡ was him making me leave as quickly as possible. 

Shit. David felt ignorant because he got angry with Matteo for disappearing. 

ㅡ Come, let's find a place.   
ㅡ You have class now.   
ㅡ Doesn't matter, I can take the rest of the notes tomorrow with Jonas. Come on. 

Oh, Jonas. A problem for another hour.

He raised his hand hoping Matteo would hold it. He did. 

ㅡ You don't have to do this, I don't want to cause any trouble.   
ㅡ Is not trouble if it's about you.

Maybe a new place wouldn't be so bad.


	10. meteorite part one.

One thing was for sure: David wouldn't take the notes later with Jonas, since when he and Matteo approached the boy's apartment, voices until then unknown sounded what made him frown. 

Before there was a big mess, David opened the door and had no reaction to the scene he was seeing; Jonas lying on the sofa, Carlos and Abdi sitting on the ground and each one with a beer in his hand. 

ㅡ What-  
ㅡ Look who's here! ㅡ Jonas' voice could easily smell alcohol from meters away. He stood up going towards the boy, who at the same time felt the touch of the blond man's hand touching his waist as if it was making him protect. 

ㅡ We were worried about you, did you miss class and come back with this freak? 

The drunken steps, stumbling alone in the middle of the room while Carlos and Abdi kept trying to pull him to sit down. David was not happy with that situation, it was all too much. 

First, the lack of privacy and now they were criticizing Matteo there in his face? 

ㅡ I think I should go. 

The blonde's voice sounded so small as if at any moment he could disappear again, and that was the last thing David wanted. But he also understood that if he stayed, he would hear things not so pleasant.

ㅡ Oh no, you have to stay!   
ㅡ Dude, stop.

Carlos tried to interfere, but Jonas was soon on his feet again, going towards Matteo, who took David's lead in trying to protect him. The blond man's so well known breath was soon standing face to face, uttering things that everyone there knew Jonas would not remember the next day. 

ㅡ You have to stay and explain to everyone, especially your boyfriend, how you fucked with my life. You fucking weirdo. 

There are some moments in life when you feel like a meteor about to fall to the ground, burning everything around you and no matter how hard you try to avoid. It doesn't, it keeps coming and coming like a big tragedy.

Not like those tragedies that people say in books. It's not beautiful, it's not poetic. 

It's just a tragedy. 

The silence remained for a few seconds before David whispered:

ㅡ Teo? What is he talking about?

Matteo was sure it was a meteor. He just didn't know how to avoid it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, what do u think happened between jonas and matteo?
> 
> leave a comment!


	11. meteorite parte two.

Matteo thought about all the options he had there, he could turn his back so he would never talk to David again or Jonas and his friends. It seemed easy in theory. 

— We can talk about it when you're not drunk. 

Matteo said after a few seconds of silence, his fingers became trembling by the thought and willingness to smoke. Certainly, it would relieve the stress and anxiety that started to make him sweat. 

— No. — Jonas said and he hadn't realized how close they were, the smell of alcohol was really bothering him. 

— Jonas, stand back. 

— Why? Are you afraid I told everyone here that you're a fucking junkie who steals other people's girlfriends? 

The silence became unbearable in that room. Matteo opened his mouth several times trying to explain, but he saw that he had no option that he felt David's hand moving away, moving his body away too. It was just Jonas and Matteo there, in an internal conflict that could generate the fall of one of the two.

— I'm sorry.

— What?  
  
Jonas spoke, altered. 

— I'm sorry about what happened last summer, i tried to explain, but you wouldn't listen. 

— I know what happened there, Florenzi.

— No, you don't. You were outside the party and only know what they said. 

Jonas seemed to think about what the blond man was talking about, moving away to sit on the sofa.

— What the fuck happened there?

— I never got close to Hanna the way they told you. She had a secret of mine and said that if I didn't kiss her, she would scream to everyone at the party. Hanna was just drunk, so I denied it and ran away. 

Jonas remained silent wondering if it was worth believing the blonde. He was sure they had kissed several times at that party, but he was right, he was not inside the party and much less lucid.

— Jonas, I didn't kissed her. 

— And why not? 

What kind of question was that? 

— What?

— Why didn't you kiss her? Wasn't your little secret important? 

Matteo looked back, surprised and hurt that David didn't say anything. He was really believing in Jonas, and it was breaking him into several pieces.

— Because it was not worth it. My little secret almost cost my life that night and she would not be responsible for telling everyone, it was not fair. 

— What was important, Matteo? 

The first time Abdi opened his mouth to talk, the blond just wanted to scream so everyone would shut up because it was personal. 

— Hanna looked at my phone at the new year's party, she knew I was gay. 

— But I thought you had already assumed. 

— I needed to, didn't I? 

Things became clear, Matteo had come out of the closet but not of his own will. 

— I think i need to go.

Matteo looked directly at the boy who just shrugged his shoulders, the messy thoughts wouldn't let them talk at that moment. He needed some time to think, and for the first time, David didn't stop him from going.

He left the apartment with the feeling that it was the end.

The meteor had really fallen, and it was his fault as well as the poison that kept spreading.


	12. what is yours, always comes back, right?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just rewrote this one today and I'm trying with all the forces in the world not to post it all now.

Neil Gaiman once said that mistakes serve to do new things. They serve for you to know that you are living, even if it is not the way you expect because the great secret of life is: there is no certain way to live.

Two days in complete silence in the room — until then, new — with the smell of new furniture and newly painted walls that simply did not come close to the full of cigarettes. It was as if the world had stopped and had not waited for Matteo, who despite what had happened, wasn't the only reason he spent the nights awake looking through the window the empty and silent streets of Berlin. Everything seemed so simple, so why wasn't it? 

— Matteo? Hanna is here to see you, you want me to send her away? 

The voice of Hans, his new roommate — 'cause when he told Mia about being expelled, she didn't allow even for a second that he slept in the street or on any mattress. Since then, he shared an apartment with her, Hans and Linn until he got a job.

Matteo denied even knowing that he couldn't see, getting up from bed and going towards the door. He told Hans to tell her to wait a while. She did. 

When the blond arrived in the kitchen, she had a cup of tea in her hands and looked anxious. Matteo wasn't much different when he sat facing the redhead, not looking her in the eyes. 

— Listen, I knew what happened and I wanted to apologize for what I said at the party. 

— Jonas told you? 

She nodded. 

— I never stopped to understand why you said those things at the party, Hanna. Did I say or did I do something to you?

— Matteo, I was angry. I was jealous the way you looked at Jonas even though you didn't even talk to each other, so when I looked at your phone things started to make sense. 

Matteo didn't want to admit it out loud, but he understood Hanna's reasons. It wasn't fair and he didn't even come close to being her right to have had what she said, but he understood. After all, they were just teenagers. 

— I'm sorry that I made you have no choice but to come out of the closet. 

— I can't say it's all good yet. I think these things take time, you know? 

Hanna nodded, he wasn't wrong and he was understandable. 

— Do you think we will ever be friends again? - The redhead asked, the nostalgia and the hopes present in the eyes to the point of being palpable. Matteo shrugged, not being sure that this would be possible. 

Maybe one day. It was too early to decide anything.

— So, about your little boyfriend! What's between you? 

— I have no idea what you're talking about.

Before Hanna made any jokes, Mia showed up in the kitchen and was surprised to see her two best friends together there, but she didn't decide to ask anything and took a chair to sit down.

— I'm talking about David, silly.

— The masterchef!

— Do you really need to keep talking all the time that he cooks better than me? 

They laughed, including Matteo.

— What happened that he is not here today? You were so sticky. 

— I don't think he wants anything more from me anymore.

He explained what had happened from the beginning to the girls who listened without interrupting, which he was grateful because the words did not even seem to make sense.

— I would give anything to go back in the past and fix this. 

— I don't think that would be possible, Teo. — Mia said, shaking the boy's hand gently. 

— And what do I do now?

— You wait. You wait with all your heart because if he wants you he too will come back. Maybe David just needs some time, and so do you. 

Maybe they were right. Maybe a time was the only thing that would make it work in the end, then he would wait. Who knows Neil Gaiman wasn't really right when he said that tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will harden when mere facts are dust and ashes.

What is yours, always comes back, right?


	13. seize the fuckin' day.

The answer came in the same day, breaking the silence and spreading it on the streets like snowflakes. 

**david**  
(19:35)

hey. i tried to send a message before, but i couldn't.   
hope it's okay to send it now.

 **david**   
(19:48)

i want to say i'm so sorry for the way i sent u away that day.

 **matteo**  
(19:48)

so why did you do it?  
are u mad?  
sorry.

 **david**  
(19:49)

what?  
no!!!!  
teo, i'm the one who should be apologizing!  
i was upset, but it wasn't with you. ngl i was in shock and angry how unfair Jonas was with you.   
you deserved more. 

_yeah, i deserve more._ He thought as stared at the phone screen until he hung up, leaving the conversation without an answer. Matteo felt like a coward, they would be fine again and then? they would be friends again as if he wasn't in love? 

— Oh, fuck. i think i love him. 

Matteo said louder than really should, imagining that at any moment Hans would scream "no shit, sherlock!" but nothing but his own thoughts seemed to make noise in that room. 

seize the fuckin' day. 

the fast steps traced a known path to David's house, which seemed more distant every second leaving the blond no choice but to run. finally, he got where he was supposed to be and slammed the door with his nervousness weighing under his shoulders. 

Laura opened, strangely the hour, but didn't stop smiling when greeting him.

— David! — she screamed, waiting for the boy who seemed surprised to see Matteo at the door. Laura said goodbye and entered, different from the boys who had the door open. 

— Wha-

— Before anything, you were right. I deserve much more than all that. 

David shrugged his shoulders, staring at the blond with the red cheeks from the cold and listened to him keep talking.

— That's why i'm here with this stupid idea of enjoying the fucking day.

— You've been watching sad movies or something, haven't you?

— Maybe. but the point is i can't do it anymore, David. We can't just walk away and talk again like i don't feel anything. 

what. the. hell.   
David's mind stopped rationing about the possibility that Matteo was really declaring himself. 

— Teo?

He called, watching the boy close his eyes as if he was trembling with anxiety. David went down the steps, getting close to the blond who hadn't opened his eyes yet. 

— I love you. — Matteo whispered, opening his eyes and being surprised that he was so close, there was almost no space between them. David faced him trying to decide if it was real or not.

Say something.

Say something.

Say something. 

— I love you too. 

He said back. The small space was quickly broken by the bodies colliding, as if they formed only one. The lips touched in intensity, recording the moment in the roof of the mouth. 

So close to the sky. 


	14. bruises.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw: unsafe binding.  
> don't use the binder for many hours and certainly don't sleep with it. your back and body also deserve to rest! 
> 
> stay safe, folks <3

With the cold, they were eventually forced to enter David's house, pushing things on the way to the bedroom. Their hands grabbed and touching each part of the coats that were removed, ending up on the wooden floor. 

But it was just this, neither of them wanted to rush anything then after removing the coats, they kept talking about various things — strange thoughts, dreams, graceless jokes they insisted on laughing. Feelings. Matteo knew the boy's room, sitting lazily on the bed tidy and perfectly aligned, he had realized this as got to know the house as the boy liked everything clean and aligned in proper place. 

He shrugged, surprised by David's body which stopped in front of him, making him raise his head which hadn't even noticed it was lowered. 

— Where did you go just now, Mr. Florenzi? 

— What?

— It's been fifteen minutes since you've been staring at the ground, should I be jealous?

He laughed with his own words, sitting next to the blond who ended up lying side by side. 

— Come to think of it, they're so cute.

— Who? 

— The floor.

— Oh, shut up!

Hours passed between the night until the arrival of the morning, where both ignored the alarm clocks indicating that it was Monday and going back to sleep in the positions they found most comfortable; Matteo had his belly turned up while David had his head resting on the chest of the blond, who was hugging him. 

Unlike the other days, the alarm clock was not responsible for waking David, but the pain that went up from the hip to the spine that made him regret almost instantly having spent hours using the binder. Of having slept with. 

He grunted while separating from Matteo's warm body, which had a calm expression on his face and amidst the pain on his body, David thought it was probably the first time he saw the boy so calm. He pushed the thought that made him smile, tracing a tortuous path to the bathroom to remove as fast as possible. 

Facing the mirror, he sighed as stared at the purple bruises distributed on his hip and ribs. He could not deny that he spent a lot of time with Matteo or with his friends, and the possibility of removal had not crossed his mind. He removed the binder, returning to look in the mirror and face the torso naked. 

— You're fine. Just breathe. — He whispered to himself as he had done for years. He covered his body with a wide sweatshirt, strangely surprised by the amount of cloth left over until he repaired the print. 

Fuck. It was Matteo's sweatshirt.   
He had picked it up randomly on the bedroom floor, so he couldn't return wearing the shirt he had worn the night before, wearing the sweatshirt anyway. 

— Dav. — He listened so he closed the bathroom door, looking at the kitchen and finding Laura looking at him directly. 

— I didn't.

— David.

— I swear, I didn't-

— You don't have to make up any excuses or lie to me. David, you can't just damage your body that way. 

— The body is mine. — He was aware that it seemed irrational, but couldn't stop his own words.

— And you're hurting yourself! 

The silence filled the void in the apartment, Laura swallowed dry and faced the coffee cup she was holding in her hands, neither of them wanted to argue even David knowing she was right. 

He would talk to Matteo. 

  
Right?


	15. keep your head up, love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is probably the most personal chapter i wrote while complaining about the back pain caused by the binder bc im dumb.
> 
> idk hope u like it

The conversation wasn't so successful with Laura that it took him a few minutes before he took a deep breath, plotting his way back to his room. David could feel his own body shaking with anxiety, as if he was going to drop a bomb and run away. 

It was just Matteo. And that was exactly what scared him, maybe he wouldn't know how to cope. He opened the door and saw the blond sitting on the bed scratching his eyes before looking at the door. The glances met in a fraction of seconds, making David release the air he didn't even know had held. 

— Oh, good morning, you little thief!

Matteo's playful tone made him smile, looking at the sweatshirt he was wearing. 

— I promise I won't keep it.

— Baby, come here.

He didn't miss a second before going to bed, sitting in front of the boy who looked him in the eyes as if he was looking for any trace of something wrong. 

— You can keep it. It looks much better on you. 

— Do you think so? — Matteo frowned at his eyebrows strangely his behavior, David would probably get all red and change the subject, but at that moment, there was a kind of insecurity in his eyes. 

— What's in that little head of yours, hm?

— I need to talk to you. 

Matteo was sure that he would end up hearing a "it's too much for me" or "I need space", even a "it's not you, it's me" and sighed knowing he couldn't do anything to avoid these words. He nodded, seeing David nod as well as receiving permission. It didn't seem right. 

— Do you remember when we talked about genders and I told you about me?

He nodded again, remembering the night they spent talking. David had explained a little bit about how he found out he was trans and how it affected life at home, having no choice but to run away. 

"I think I ran away to survive. In the end, I survived even though it still hurt."

— There's something I use to compress that. — He pointed to his own chest, David hated to refer to it that way, but anything was better than calling them by other names. — It's called a binder and I use it most of the time, even though it's not good. 

— Not good? Does it hurt?

David nodded, returning to explain: — It hurts after spending many hours and many times it hurts to breathe or move. 

The blond didn't wanted to interrupt what seemed to be seconds of courage, so just nodded like the previous times. He knew about the binder, had searched on google after that night, but had no idea that it could hurt that way. 

— And you spend a lot of time with me, Dav.   
— It's not about that. That's true, I spend a lot of time with you and I also spend a lot of time with Jonas and the boys! It's not only with you, Teo, and it's killing me because I don't know what to do. 

David was hurting himself unconsciously in the time spent with him? 

— I'm not ready. I-I don't know how to stay without using all this and still feel like a real boy. 

— Hey, look at me! You're a boy, never doubt that. 

David looked him in the eyes, joining their foreheads until looked at him again. The light blue warming him inside. 

— You're my boy. — Matteo whispered, watching some tears wet his _boyfriend's_ face. 

_Boyfriend_. That simple word made him smile, separating their foreheads and trying to think about what all that was really about.

— Whatever the option or idea, I'll always say yes as long as it doesn't hurt you. So, if you want space, I'll give you space and we can talk even by letter like in the past. 

— Ok old man, calm down a little. Since I can't wear it for a long time, do you mind leaving the sweatshirt here? You don't have to say yes if you don't want to, okay? 

— The sweatshirt? 

He pointed to the red sweatshirt with some white and gray details scattered on the sleeves, seeing David nod. What made him confused, after all, he already considered to have given to the boy.

— The fabric is thick, much thicker than mine and hides easily. — He didn't wanted to say "I'm not using the binder now and you didn't even notice" in relation to how thick the fabric was. And most of all, comfortable. 

"Is that all he needs? A sweatshirt? So he doesn't want to walk away?" the blond's confused head quickly understood and expected the worst. 

— It's yours anyway. 

— Do you mind if when I'm with you, I just wear the sweatshirt with nothing underneath? 

— David, I would never care about anything like that. For me, you can wear a traffic cone along with a cowboy hat and I'll still be fine because you're safe. 

— Oh my god, you really have a cowboy fetish!

They laughed for a moment when the head of both seemed at peace, David felt his own heart beating like crazy inside his chest knowing that he could be comfortable. And safe. 

Obviously other steps would be necessary, but at that moment, he felt safe in his boyfriend's arms after the nervousness went away. 


	16. davie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'll be back soon this time to post ok i promise!!
> 
> there's one thing i wanted to leave here, if anyone is reading, is that i'm not mentally prepared for the next chapters.   
> and mainly: i don't write ANY sex scene, at most how much this can affect david, but in general not. 
> 
> i honestly apologize if this in any way disappointed or discouraged you from continuing to read.   
> that's it, i'll be back soon with the next chapters and the final chapter. 
> 
> <3

Apparently everything was going well, the stress and anxiety went away in the middle of the good days - and bad too, but they always made a way to stay well. Well, until Tuesday morning when David realized how close he was to the final exams. 

He was screwed. 

The phone vibrated on the bed, he had left the object there to try to concentrate on at least one subject. David got up from his chair, picking up the phone. 

**jonas**  
(01:55)

I think we need to talk.   
or at least give me a chance to apologize. 

**david**  
(01:55)

it's not me you need to apologize to, jonas. 

jonas  
(01:58)

i know!   
but he won't listen to me if you're not there  
dude come on  
help me

David sighed, now he was completely screwed without exceptions. He closed the conversation with Jonas, opening the one with Matteo and quickly typed in the doubt if the blond was sleeping or not.

_"baby is typing..."_

Matteo stared at the screen with the frowning and wondering why David was awake at that hour. Five minutes passed and the message disappeared and returned. 

**blue eyes**  
(02:06)

what are you writing?   
the bible? 

Oh, great. He was awake. 

**baby**  
(02:06)

why r u awake?  
ok forget it  
i kind of need to ask you something :(  
first: you can't get mad at me ok i love you mwah  
second: jonas just texted me and he wants to apologize to you, but he thinks you'll end up punching him if i'm not around

Matteo stared at the screen for a few seconds before making a decision. The same way he had done with Hanna, he would do with Jonas and apologize for not having said it before. 

He also needed to listen to his side.

_"blue eyes is typing..."_   
_"blue eyes is typing...."_

**blue eyes**  
(02:08)

why YOU are awake??  
oh the sad face ew ew  
first: you're trying to buy me???? omg you little shit. ilysm.   
second: i can't believe jonas is a chicken and he's scared of me. do you think he can talk tomorrow at school or something?

 **baby**  
(02:12)

shut up   
yeah THE SAD FACE   
he said yes, i think by the time he sees you he'll want to run

 **blue eyes**  
(02:16)

well, i have no idea why  
does he know about us? 

**baby**  
(02:18)

...not yet.

 **blue eyes**  
(02:20)

oh no  
tells me he won't know tomorrow!!!!  
david  
DAVIE  
u better run

 **baby**  
(02:23)

davie???? where did this come from???  
(and yes he will know tomorrow)  
but teo, are you doing this for you or for me? you know, this talking to jonas tomorrow because if it's for me, then it's not ok, you don't need to.

 **blue eyes**  
(02:25)

this is for me, okay? I swear.   
i also need to get over it and forget about it, so it's for me, davie.

 **baby**  
(02:27)

ok i think I can get used to davie

 **blue eyes**  
(02:28)

i'm begging you to shut up and go to sleep   
good night, love <3

When David no longer answered, he was sure that the boy had slept. Now he could "freak out" alone without knowing what was really waiting for him the other day.


	17. high hopes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ok. i have to say that in my head, marie is lovely and the most kind person ever.   
> and yes, she's blind due to a accident. 
> 
> the chapters will be a little longer from now on.   
> see you later!

The first traces of the sun invaded the room, making it clear that in a few hours, he would have to face Jonas whether he wanted to or not. 

Matteo wasn't sure why he felt so anxious. As if the world was on the edge ready to start a war, and he simply couldn't think of anything positive. When the anxiety squeezed his chest, he went out on the streets going to the rehab where his mother was interned. 

Marie Florenzi committed herself when Matteo turned six, since then he always visited her every morning. Since the morning he spent with David, he stopped visiting her because he couldn't tell her he was dating. With a boy. 

— Oh, Matteo, it's really early. Is everything okay? 

Elise, one of the oldest nurses in the hospital asked when she took a look at the blonde who had red skin from the cold and for leaving without a coat, he had not even noticed the time when he left home. The clock at the gate was 05:25am and he took a deep breath, realizing that he had had a crisis without even realizing it. 

Matteo nodded, not looking at the lady who sat next to him, tapping her hand on the chair so that he would sit too. 

— What is happening with this little heart? 

The soft voice echoed and Matteo hated the way Elise knew him so well. After all, she knew him when he was just a child and kept crying in the corridors. It was really a lonely time. 

— Lissy, I'm gay. 

— Darling, I know this since your weird obsession with Gerard Way. 

He allowed himself to smile when he remembered the phase in which he was really obsessed, and that deep down, he didn't want to accept the possibility of liking boys. 

— Is everything ok for you? — He asked, seeing the lady's face becoming offended. 

— Of course it is! But please, no more wearing that hair covering your eyes like an emo.

— Lissy! 

— But seriously, I know you're not okay. I can see in those beautiful blue eyes how afraid you are, and really, you don't have to be afraid. 

Matteo took a deep breath, she kept talking. 

— Marie spends hours and hours talking about you take good care of her, Matteo. She will never turn her back on you. You know the affection that everyone in this hospital has for you, but nothing and nobody comes close to the love she has for you. 

He would never speak out loud how much that place had saved him several times. The nurses practically fed him, since his father was never home. 

**Our kid.** Matteo closed his eyes remembering the first time he went to high school and that in a way brought joy to that place, everyone gathered in a celebration and there was a banner written with bright lyrics "congratulations, teo! with much love, _your family."_

The memories gave way to reality before his eyes that with the calmest heart said goodbye to Elise, walking to Marie's room, who was waiting for him. Just like every morning. 

— Mamma, I'm coming in. — He waited a few seconds until he entered the room. The woman had her back turned to the door and her face lit up by the sun, he approached to leave a kiss on her forehead.

— I missed you this week, honey. 

— I know, I'm sorry I couldn't come. Janna told me about you having won from her at poker and she didn't seem very happy about it.

— She's been complaining since yesterday! 

Silence hovered in the room, both inserts of what to say. What to ask. What to feel. 

— What happened? 

— What? Mom...

— Matteo Ricci Florenzi, I'm blind, but I'm not dumb. I recognize when you are sad even on the phone. — After all, the eyesight was one of the things that immigration to Germany had taken away from her. He faced her, not doubting because she really knew almost every time. 

— Mamma, do you like me? 

— Of course. I gave birth to you, you are my son. 

— Not that way. I feel that you love me, but are you capable of liking me? 

— Teo, I really don't understand what you're getting at. 

— Would you like me if I am not the way you expect? 

Matteo looked up, seeing the woman frowning. He stared at the gray eyes even knowing that she couldn't face back. One of the heaviest things in life is the chances of you loving someone but not liking them all the time. 

To love the idea of that person. 

— I'm gay. 

As if the air escaped and he lost all the rest, struggling to breathe again. Marie's serene face made him anxious, she smiled and raised her hands in the air waiting for him to approach and hold her hands. He did it faster than intended, letting himself live in that moment. Letting fear escape between his fingers and die on the icy ground. 

— Matteo, nothing in the whole world will make me love you less. You had and have my heart the instant I felt your skin and my fingers played with your small face that at the moment you were born I thought "questa e' la mia vita."

This is my life. The blond would always remind her about life. He was the love of her life. Marie remembered the day Matteo was born, everyone said how beautiful and cute he was. She did not doubt it, since even without being able to see him, her fingers and her imagination knew perfectly how he was. 

— And maybe I'm in love. 

Marie smiled again at the use of "maybe", he always did that when he was a child when he was afraid to tell things. She knew deep in her heart that he was really in love.

— Are you happy? 

Matteo looked at her, thinking for a few seconds before saying:

— Happy is a very strong and heavy word, but I am doing well. Really well.

Matteo was surprised by the answer because even after years of therapy, he didn't imagine that one day he would say he was fine. Or at least safe. 

His psychologist would set fires when he told her.

— What are you waiting to bring him here? What's his name? Where does he live? 

— Calm down, old lady! I haven't talked about bringing David here yet, maybe later, okay? 

David. Marie would love him. 

— Shit. I'm late. Bye, Mom!

— Ti amo!

— Anch'io ti amo!

The steps towards the school seemed to take forever to see David and Jonas at the school door, probably waiting for him. He walked until saying a shy "hello", David turned around and a worry took over the boy. 

— What are you doing in this cold without a coat?

— I was late.

Matteo wouldn't talk about his mother. Not yet. David took off the scarf he was wearing and put it on the blond's neck, who smiled when he thanked him. 

As if they suddenly remembered that Jonas was there, strangely uncomfortable, Matteo said:

— Hey.

— Hey. 

The silence seemed too heavy. David sighed.

— I think we'd better go inside. You have to warm up. 

It was unusual the lack of physical contact between the two of them, but Matteo understood that they couldn't show any affection. 

He said he would tell to Jonas. But still, Matteo felt like a secret. 


	18. 505

**blue eyes**  
(07:32)

seriously, where are u?  
can you come back now?   
it's a little strange here   
help i don't know how to be sociable

Matteo sent the messages and wondered where David had gone to because Jonas was sitting next to him and neither of them seemed to start a conversation. 

— We can talk later.

— Why are you so afraid?

— I'm not afraid!

— Jonas, I literally can see you shaking from here. 

And it wasn't a lie, Jonas seemed to be about to freak out. 

— Listen, I wanted to apologize for not coming to you before to find out what happened at the party and for picking on you last year and that year too. it was really stupid and I'm really sorry. 

— Why didn't you talk to me? 

— I don't know? you always seemed to me to be the kind of boy who fights for nothing and I was already angry that you kissed Hanna.

— But I didn't!

— Ok, I get that now. 

— Hanna wasn't the one I wanted to kiss at the party anyway.

Jonas' look seemed to burn Matteo's skin, who refused to look at him. 

— So who? 

Before Matteo opened his mouth to answer, the phone vibrated in his pocket. It was David.

 **davie**  
(07:50)

love, i'm sorry :(  
i just left the office now. my documents were taking a long time to arrive and they needed to correct the notes  
Is everything okay there?  
omg is very quiet  
you didn't kill yourselves, did you?  
hello????  


**blue eyes**  
(07:51)

is everything ok?  
we were just talking  
we are going to eat kebab!  
want to come along?

There was no answer, so the blonde just kept the phone and they hooked up in a conversation as if they were best friends of a lifetime. Matteo watched Jonas' eyebrows frown, turning to look and came across David, who did not have such a good expression on his face. 

— Hey, what happened? — Jonas asked, David just shrugged and sat next to Matteo.

— They needed to review my documents, I don't know what for.

— Did they said anything?

— Nothing yet. 

Jonas nodded and turned his attention to the kebab he was holding in his left hand, Matteo took advantage of the fact that the boy was not paying attention to get his boyfriend's hand, looking him in the eyes. 

— Are you okay? — David shrugged again, he did not know for sure how he should feel. 

— Here, take it. — Matteo offered the kebab, seeing the boy accept quickly. 

— So you think you can fool me for how long? 

Both of them looked at him scared, they weren't exactly actors. Jonas laughed.

— A couple of idiots!

— So you knew?

— Dude, you don't fool anyone with that face of who you would kill for him, and vice versa.

Was it really that obvious? 

The phone vibrated again, he was surprised because he only talked to David or the group of the apartment, but everyone was probably asleep. He unlocked the phone, opening the message. 

Reality seemed distant at that moment, he literally could feel his legs shaking. 

**Dad (do not answer)**

"Just in case you forgot, I have eyes everywhere. After all, you are my son".

What the fuck was he talking about? 

_"Dad's typing..."_

"I didn't raise you like this, Matteo. Come back home and we'll have a father-son chat. Your mother doesn't need you every day going to bother her. 

Grow up, kid."

Eventually, he'd need to go back to the house where his father was. Matteo was aware of this when he moved, he had no legal permission to move. 

— Hey.

He felt David smooth his hand, slowly coming back until he looked at his boyfriend who seemed confused. 

"Your mom doesn't need you every day going to bother her."

The words got stuck in his mind, repeating themselves several times. Was he bothering her? Was he bothering everyone around him?

Without needing a confirmation, he just buried what had just happened in his chest, he would deal with it later. He couldn't afford to worry the boyfriend who already had his own problems. 

"I won't become a problem for him either". 


	19. the sun will shine again, right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw: mild manipulation. manipulative parent/dad, angst.

The signal hit in the middle of the time when the thoughts of both were confused. David felt "no one" every time they questioned the documents as a birth certificate. All the joy ended at the time, it kept happening in every school he went to. 

Matteo had already lost track of reality after his father's messages. Returning to that house was not the worst fear, but would certainly be in second place because he knew exactly what he was capable of. Edoardo was always the reason behind every bruises. 

ㅡ Earth to Matteo! Hello, are you there? ㅡ David snapped his fingers in front of him, Matteo raised the gaze that he didn't even know had fixed on the ground while they were walking to class.   
ㅡ Yeah, I'm here.

"If you're going to hide it, at least learn to lie, you piece of shit." Matteo thought, David just nodded and decided not to force him to say anything and they went to the proper rooms. Unfortunately, they had different classes. 

It was biology class.

God, Matteo couldn't hate that day anymore.

ㅡ Mr. Florenzi, can you open your notebooks on the table, please? ㅡ Claire, the biology teacher, spoke standing next to him. 

Matteo raised his arms over the table, taking the backpack to remove the notebooks. 

ㅡ Next week will be the last exam of the year, I don't think you have enough grade to think you can be lazy until you copy. If you don't mind studying, you can leave. 

ㅡ But-   
ㅡ You can leave now, Matteo. 

He nodded before sighing disappointed with his own posture about the studies. Finn, who was sitting only one chair behind, caught the attention of the blond, who looked at the boy. 

ㅡ I can copy everything and hand you out.   
ㅡ Why? Do I owe you anything now?  
ㅡ What? No!  
ㅡ Then what?  
ㅡ Matteo, you need these notes more than I do. Just go before she screams again. 

He did. He left the room as fast as he could, listening to the noise of the door slamming hard after he left. Matteo in the end was trying, but it never seemed enough. 

ㅡ Fuck. 

He said after realizing he could go home, but that his father would probably be waiting. 

**blue eyes**

i was kicked out of the class [insert a clown emoji or it could be my face too]  
then i'll go home and come to get u, okay? 

i don't know if u want to talk about what happened   
but if you want, i'm here   
ps. you are the most beautiful and most loved boy in the world (and smart!!!)

pls don't answer now and pay attention in class!!!  
ily

After the messages sent to David, the steps started to be fast towards home. Matteo recognized the expensive car ㅡ that was ironic how much Edoardo tried to look rich, but refused to pay for food for his family ㅡ parked in the garage, a chill touched his skin just stopping at the back of his head. 

The long stairs seemed eternal. Maybe it was just the nervousness. Finally he arrived, knocking on the door and waiting for a few seconds before the man opened it. 

After almost six years, he hadn't changed anything. The brown hair with gel spread too much, the strong perfume and the formal clothes. 

ㅡ Ehi, figlio mio!

My son. Matteo hated this false affection with all his strength. 

He forced a smile before entering the apartment that seemed to have gone through a big reform. 

ㅡ Do you want something to drink?   
ㅡ Water.  
ㅡ Water? The last time I heard from you, you were drunk in the middle of the street. Sure you don't want any vodka? 

Of course he knew. Of course he knew every time that Matteo drank in expensive bars and left without paying the bills. Something clicked in the head of the blonde who connected the dots. 

Edoardo who paid all the bills and bank the drinks for a minor. Wow. 

ㅡ How?  
ㅡ How?!  
ㅡ How did you know where I would drink? 

The space between the two was getting small, until the man's warm breath hit the blond's skin. 

ㅡ Don't you understand, Matteo? 

Matteo felt his own body tremble with the sudden proximity. The man's fingers went to the blond man's face, holding his face tightly by his cheeks. 

ㅡ I will always know where you are. Do you know why? Because you need me to help your fucked up head.

The fingers became weaker as Matteo's face became red. He faced the man's eyes with sorrow, wondering if all people were like that or he had done something wrong. 

ㅡ Well, let's get down to business, shall we? ㅡ Edoardo asked, letting go of the blond's face and then wiped his hand on his own jacket. 

ㅡ Why did you call me here?   
ㅡ To bring you back home. 

No. No. No. Not again. 

ㅡ I already have a home. I can't leave my home to live here.   
ㅡ That garbage? That is not a house. That is your only home, where you belong.   
ㅡ No. I'm sorry, but no. 

The man sat on the couch looking like he was thinking. Matteo turned his back toward the door to leave. He needed to leave as quickly as possible. 

ㅡ By the way, say hi to your boyfriend for me. Tell him I'll have some time to meet him later. 

As if the world had collapsed, he froze as he listened to him practically in the face of a threat. Matteo wanted to laugh, wanted to cry and scream for everyone in that building to know how rotten and screwed up that family was.

He wanted to disappear. He wanted to protect David. 

He turned to face him, his blue eyes taken by disappointment and agony unbelieving what was happening. 

ㅡ Yeah, I will come back. 

Matteo saw him smiling. 

**"Hold on a little longer just for today, dear. The sun will shine again.**

**Hold on. Promise me you will."**

**"I promise."**

All Matteo expected was that his mother was really right. And that the sun would shine again as soon as possible.

**Author's Note:**

> kudos + comments = motivation to keep writing.


End file.
